Today's Challenge: Everyday's Challenge: FIGHT THE FEAR

Isaiah 41: 10

10 So don't worry, because I am with you. Don't be afraid, because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you; I will support you with my right hand that saves you.

2 Timothy 1: 7

7 God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control.

          I’m looking at my mountain of self-teaching books – including the two I just bought yesterday, and now I’m like…..WOW! I BETTER become everything I want to become, or else, LOL.

          I’m spending a ton of money funding my dreams, and I better accomplish them too. The decision, of course, is mine. Whether I pass or fail professionally, vocationally, and even financially is all dependent upon me. Success is up to me.

          It’s scary knowing that something so big is in my hands. I want to live in my dream home, and drive my Range Rover. I want to live comfortably and be able to give what I want to give, buy what I want (and need) to buy, and live how I want to live. But the difference between that - and being 30 and still living at home with mamma ‘cause I’m broke - is in my hands, and under my control. Success and failure is based on the decisions I make here and now.

          I am so scared. Life is unpredictable. You can trust in God all you want to. I need help in that area, myself. But God does allow certain circumstances to happen. Though He’ll never allow more than we can bear – life is heavy sometimes. My life is so precious. Life itself is so precious. I don’t want to screw it up, but when I weigh the negative verses the positive, I end up seeing a bunch of crap that needs change. I end up seeing someone who went all through life with no dreams, goals or visions. I was lost, without a clue and feeling stuck. Now I know my calling. Now I have a dream, a vision and several goals – but what I’m lacking is faith. All I have is fear – and unfortunately, that’s what drives me.

          I have faith in what God has called me to do – but I am so scared that I’ll never measure up and I can’t stand it! Writing is as simple as what I’m doing now (but, with a tad bit more care for structure, organization and action)! I didn’t think about sitting here and writing this blog; I just did it. I simply felt like blogging, and now, here I am. No second thoughts, no doubts, no fears. Just simple, plain writing. Why can’t approach my NIP (novel in progress) like that? Or my screenplays like that? Or my plays like that? Why can’t I simply get on craigslist and write:

Hey. I’m looking for some local-to-DC community theatre actors and actresses of all ages to be a part of my theatre arts group. I am also looking for some set builders, seamstresses, backstage assistants, etc. These are not paying jobs; so if you’re looking for compensation, please know that I’m just starting out – with your help. I hope to grow to the point where compensation is an option, but for now, this is simply community theatre.

Simple, right? One would think. But, okay. What scares me about that is my lack of cash flow. If we put on a production, where would we have it? But, Tyler Perry was dang near homeless. Now look at him. He started somewhere, and I probably have more than he had starting out! If he found a way to escape a bad situation and live his dream, why can’t I? Because I’m scared, that’s why.

What would I even be like without fear? What type of person would I be? What would I have accomplished? The good thing about that is: It’s never too late to find out.